20 Political Jokes That Will Get You a Good Laugh

Conspiracy theory

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At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found the perfect green tie to match one of her husband's sport jackets. Soon after, while the couple was relaxing at a resort complex to get his mind off a complicated cocaine-conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the tie. The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a "bug" planted by the conspiracy defendants.

The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C., for analysis. Two weeks later, the judge phoned Washington to find out the results of their tests.

"We're not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.' "

Plush passenger

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During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf. Often I was required to transport gifts, sent to him from patriotic Americans, from Washington, D.C., to his home base in Florida. On one trip I "escorted" a four-foot teddy bear dressed in fatigues with a name tag reading "Bear," General Schwarzkopf's nickname. As I boarded the plane, I explained my mission to the flight attendant and asked if she could store the bear in first class. She was honored to do so, and I disappeared into the coach section.

Then, just before takeoff, an announcement came over the intercom: "Colonel Preast, would you please come up to first class? We have an extra seat here for you to sit next to your teddy bear." These corny jokes will also get everyone laughing.

Bureau of irony

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During our visit to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Washington, D.C., my family and I watched as hundreds of thousands of dollar bills were printed, inspected, cut and packaged for delivery to Federal Reserve Banks across the nation. Our guide told us that every year this facility alone printed millions of one-dollar bills. The
tour ended in the gift shop, where we bought about $60 worth of souvenirs. As I handed the clerk a $100 traveler's check, he asked if I had anything smaller.

"Why?" I asked.

"Um, because I don't have enough change," he replied.

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